A Change in the Air

Been awhile since I blogged and I really was just being lazy. lol After the move I think I wore myself completely out cause that whole wkend I was so weak and just did not want to do anything except sleep or stay inside and that's just not me. I have mostly everything put up and house is really nice and I love how it looks inside and out. The only problem is that I always get this real errie feeling like something is watching me it's really weird cause Jose has been feeling it too. It's when you climb up the stairs it's just like something is behind you or something. Idk....I really don't get to much into ghost but Jose belives in them 100% and says we need to bless the house soon. Kinda scary Anyways the place used to old doctors offices back in the day so...weird a co-worker told me that and I wish she wouldn't have. I guess I really don't worry about ghost and all that cause my main faith is in god and that is it. but anyways everything else has been good Jose got his first pay check from his new job and we were happy with it. His job is turning out to be good and he likes what he does and the people he works with and I couldn't be more happier for him. It's hard to find a good job and good people to work with, so good for him. Since the recent lost of a friend and Peixin going home I must say it has made me feel pretty lonely. I almost went to see my mom this past wkend but I'm still just not that exicted about it and scared I don't want it to be like before when I was always getting my feelings hurt. So it just kinda leaves me lost on what to do. I've kinda thrown myself out there more and made friends with a couple of new people some from the past that I reconnected with and some new ones. None of which haven't really hit home as far as a bestie goes lol but ya know they are pretty cool. The thing about all of it is you know they invite us over for dinner and idk I guess I'm just boring or antisocial but I just don't want to so that lol I mean it's always a bit akward for me tryin to make convo and sometimes I just get really embarrased, idk lol  I like hanging out with people I already feel comfortable with cause I know them...yeah I know I need to get over it if I want to meet new friends lol This wkend we both had a good time with Joses sister and it helped me to get together. We will never be tight like some sister in laws are but whatever shes cool sometimes.  We also had some disturbing news about Jose's mom, she has been on dialysis for almost one year and things are not getting better. From what I understand the medicines are now eating up her insides, the doctors have explained their concern and let us know we should now spend as much time as we possibly can with her. I am really scared for Jose because out of all the brothers and sister he has him and his mom are the closest, he is the baby and his mom just babys him like nobody buisness lol. It really breaks my heart for my husband because I know how much he loves his momma and for the whole family as well. It is going to be really hard for them and for even me because she was a great woman. Nothing is really new at work really it's been pretty slow and stuff but it's nice cause I just surf the internet all day=)....I take full advantage while I can lol I still haven't found any hobbies yet lol Me and Nathan went into the craft store this weekend to look around and idk what I want to do....lol just kinda left me more confused. I really didn't want to do any of it I am not interested in anything anymore. lol What is wrong with me the only thing I did end up enjoying all wkend was Donkey Kong lol Me and Nathan beat it all the way to world 3. lol Video Games wtf is wrong with me. lol ugh anyways I have been really interested with finda paintings, drawlings, or pictures people take. idk what I could do with that but I have been printing them off and keeping them in a little binder maybe to trace out or something..?? who knows. A pretty good friend of mine is opening up a business pretty soon (Hopefully) on doing birthday parties and she told me she could use the help and she would pay me so that could be a little fun and make a little money on the side. Kinda more her idea than mine but ya know these days I am just searching for something to do, wow I sound like a loser. lol I need a baby =( cept nothing has really happened on that...I haven't went to the doctor and I haven't really been keeping up with anything. Kinda sounds like I am being lazy don't it. huh, maybe I am just being really lazy. I do tend to be lazy lol for longer than I should, but you know this is the first time that things have been peacefully weird and it's kinda nice to be lazy. I think my life is alot different than most friends of mine probably would explain the whole feeling of feeling like we were on completely different pages all the time. Whatever it was or is I am so happy for Jose because I love him lots and he is my homie, lover and friend. Yeah we fight but we love just as hard and no matter what, we are going to be there for each other through thick and then.